So we are finally ready to get back in the game! The baby makin' game that is! So I've had two surgeries, and had a regular cycle last month. It took me a ridiculously long time to heal after the endometriosis (second) surgery, but it is what it is and I can't take it back, just had to wait it out and let my body heal. I'm so excited that this morning I took the OPK box out of the closet (blew the dust off it) and put it on the counter. I'm supposed to ovulate right around Thanksgiving. This is both awesome and cringe-worthy. Thanksgiving is husband's favorite holiday, so it would be exciting and memorable to ovulate with conception around or on that day. On the other hand, we will be at the in-laws from Wednesday to Sunday. I suggested we park the car somewhere and doing the deed high school style - maybe it's easier to conceive if you trick your uterus into thinking it's 17 and pregnancy would be the worst thing possible. But then my 29 year old brain kicks in and says "But how are you going to lay still with your hips elevated for 20+ minutes in the back of the car in the freezing cold?".
The second thing I'm dealing with is prayer. I have a novena that a friend gave me that her mother passed on to her and she swears it helped her conceive. She TTC'd for a year and the month she did conceive she did the novena for the first time. She gave it to me a long time ago and, in fact, I've done it for myself already a couple times (it didn't work). However, I have prayed it for friends trying to conceive and it has a great success rate. My main concern is that I'll involve other people (mostly my mom and sister and the friend that gave me the novena) and then won't end up pregnant. It's not a shame issue, I just don't want other people to feel involved with what might end up being another failure. I'm going to feel disappointed if we don't get pregnant this month (there's no way around that) but I'm pretty used to it. I won't be too upset, I'll be excited if I have a regular cycle and AF comes for another stay. I am involved with all my school stuff and if it's not THE month, I'll be ok with it. What I'm less ok with is getting other people wrapped up in my drama, get them to hope that what they're doing is helping me, only to deliver another disappointment. As my life stands right now, not a soul outside of my household will ask me "Are you pregnant?!" and I kind of like it that way, I hate delivering bad news and if I do get pregnant I want some time to plot an awesome way to deliver the blessed news. Time is running out on the prayer circle creation so I better make a decision or the decision will be made for me.
Finally, I've been terrible about updating my blog so I am going to try to be better. I started the blog with the intention of blogging about TTC and fertility, so I got off track when I was benched for 6 months.
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